White Sheets Of Snow Concealing
by AMKelley
Summary: A snowball fight amongst friends takes a turn for the worse when Bucky loses his grip on reality. *PTSD, temporary amnesia, blackouts, h/c, kissing, post-canon fix-it*


Natasha has two snowballs clenched in her gloved hands, waiting a beat before she finally whips around to pelt them at the opposing team. She almost hits Steve, seeing as how he's the bigger target, while Clint attempts to cut them off from the other side. Despite Clint's accuracy he misses Bucky by a mile because the guy moves so swiftly that he's practically a blur against the white backdrop.

Steve and Bucky dive behind a pretty sizeable mound of snow, curling up slightly to hide themselves completely behind it. They're both panting from the cold and exertion of running around like a couple of lunatics, dodging everything Clint and Natasha can unleash on them with their current position. Steve's and Bucky's shoulders touch briefly when the former leans forward to ball up some snow in preparation.

"What's their twenty?" Steve asks lowly, sniffling slightly from the cold. He adjusts himself into a sitting position with his back against the makeshift barricade.

"I think they were close to the bench. Or maybe by the water fountain," Bucky recalls, trying to work out the layout of the park in his mind. "I can't be sure."

"I'm going to stick my head up for a quick peek," Steve states and he does.

Steve pushes off the mound with his elbows and turns his body around sharply so he can slowly poke his head out over the barricade for a brief moment. Despite how brief the peek is, Steve still somehow manages to be struck with a snowball right across the face. He's not sure if it was Natasha or Clint, but the impact was forceful enough to send Steve falling flat on his back in the snow.

He sputters out a cough or two, having had the wind knocked out of him, and wipes his face off with the back of his hand. Bucky watches as Steve's face breaks out in a light pink hue and something crucial crumbles inside him a little. It seems vaguely familiar to him. Steve. The snow... Bucky scrambles for a moment, lunging forward quickly to grab Steve by his coat and pulling him in sharply behind the mound once again.

"They weren't even close to the bench or the fountain," Steve says after a moment. It's not meant to criticize Bucky, but it doesn't matter because Bucky takes it to heart anyway.

"I'm sorry," Bucky begins to gush, frowning as he holds Steve against his side. "It won't happen again."

"Hey, it's just a snowball, Buck. You don't have to beat yourself up over it," Steve reassures, brushing his hand against Bucky's metal arm that is covered beneath thick fabric. Bucky starts to shy away so Steve changes gears. "We oughta change our position because I think they're moving in."

"Right," Bucky nods once, getting up in a squat so he's ready to run if he has to. Steve does the same. "I've got your back this time, Captain."

They wait for a long beat before Steve darts off around the side, scooping up handfuls of snow as he goes. Bucky stumbles slightly as he tries to catch up with Steve. He can see Clint and Natasha lurking amongst the trees, arming themselves with snowballs to pelt him and Steve with. Clint is reeling an arm back when Bucky spares a glance off to the side, willing his feet to move faster before-

"They're cutting across the bend!" Clint shouts to Natasha who is huddled against a tree for cover. "Flank 'em!"

Steve fends off Natasha before she can make a move, causing her to retreat even as Clint advances and throws his rebuttal at the super soldier. Bucky can't make it to Steve in time, slowing down because the snow consumes his feet, but he manages to make one last dive. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's shoulders, shielding the expanse of his back in order to protect him from Clint's snowball.

This causes Steve to stumble and sink into the snow slightly because the sudden added weight takes him by surprise. Bucky doesn't let go right away, bringing them to their knees until finally falling into the snow face first. Bucky rolls off of Steve quickly and grabs him by the collar of his coat to drag him out of the way. Steve can't get to his feet again because Bucky won't let him. He's willfully keeping Steve down to take a stance out in front of him.

Clint and Natasha are closing in, arming themselves with snowballs that are going to be thrown directly at Bucky who stands out in the open. There's a split second where Bucky's mind comprehends that this is merely a snowball fight, but as Clint and Natasha get ready to throw their handfuls of snow, Bucky can feel his mind slipping into dark places he'd rather not go.

Images of bombs and heavy artillery spark in the dark corners of his mind as Bucky is showered with snow from the opposing duo. Each harsh strike is a flash of explosion and war and metal, all the things Bucky is afraid of. All the things he'd rather forget. His last grip on reality slips away as he becomes convinced that he's in the middle of a war and he panics. Bucky wants to run as far and as fast as he can, but he doesn't because something glues him to the spot.

Steve...

Steve is watching Bucky be bombarded by snow from Clint and Natasha who are laughing joyously, but they don't know how it kills Bucky inside. Steve knows... or at least is aware of the sudden shift in his posture and what it might possibly mean. Bucky just stands there out in front of him, letting himself be covered head to toe in cold powder, and Steve has to wonder why he doesn't do anything.

And then it hits him like a cold snowball when Bucky finally crouches down and begins his own barrage of snow, taking both Clint and Natasha on as he fends them off. Steve raises his gaze up to Bucky's back, watching his body move with ferocity he's only exhibited during combat. Bucky thinks he's in a war zone, Steve realizes, and he's trying to protect me from the enemy.

Maybe Steve should be scared for Clint's and Natasha's safety, but Steve has faith in Bucky to overcome the urges of the Winter Soldier. Besides, Clint and Natasha retreat back for cover before they got too close for his comfort. Still, Bucky continues to gather, ball, and throw snow long after they have gone, over-exerting his body until it strains. Steve curls a gentle hand around Bucky's human arm, hoping to calm the other man whilst conveying as much concern as possible.

"Bucky," Steve says softly, pulling on his arm insistently to turn him around. His eyes are wide with fear and pain and it kills him to see Bucky so detatched from reality. "There's no danger here. We're safe, Buck."

"How can you know that for sure?" Bucky questions firmly, grabbing Steve by the wrist in an attempt to pry his hand off. He often forgets that his metal hand is much stronger and that it hurts Steve when he squeezes too tightly. "How could you know?!"

"I wouldn't lie to you, I promise! You're not at war anymore. You can stop," Steve pleads on the verge of crying when his eyes tear up.

Bucky is crushing him, but Steve doesn't fight back for fear that it might spook Bucky. He looks up at Bucky, who is a mere shade of himself, and tries to reason with him. Steve knows there's a storm raging behind those blue irises, like Bucky's trying to will himself to relax and let go, but he can't quite do it just yet.

"Please, James you're hurting me," Steve finally whimpers when it all becomes too much to bear. "Please, stop this."

Something clicks inside Bucky's brain and he goes through a series of facial twitches before he finally settles on a look of pure trepidation. He hangs his head down to see how his metal hand crushes Steve's wrist in a death grip, letting it loosen some until he lets go altogether. Bucky looks back up at Steve skeptically and disillusioned. Clint and Natasha come bounding around some trees and stop promptly when Steve raises his hand in a motion that tells them to halt.

"Do you think he's gonna be alright?" Clint asks concerned as he and Natasha watch Steve and Bucky from afar.

"He's in good hands," Natasha clarifies, hooking her arm around Clint's to turn them both around and begin to walk away. "Steve is all he has left, and vice versa. I'm sure with time things will get better."

"And if they don't?" Clint inquires like the skeptic he is.

"Steve will never give up, regardless. I have no doubt that Bucky will get better, and you shouldn't either," Natasha chides, leading them over to a bench to sit and wait at. "He's determined and he gets results. Especially for the ones he loves. You of all people should know that."

"I suppose so," Clint says with a faint smile, pecking Natasha on the cheek. "I guess me and Bucky are fortunate to have people like you and Steve in our lives."

Natasha spares one last look towards Bucky and Steve who sit in the snow, resolving the situation in a way only they could ever understand.

"Steve?" Bucky murmurs, and Steve swears a tear runs down his cheek as he says this. "Where are we, Steve?"

"We're right here in Central Park, Bucky," Steve tells him, shaking his head to fight back his tears. "We're home."

"Are we safe?" Bucky inquires in a daze as he begins to ramble. It's like he had experienced a blackout. A momentary lapse in control. "Are you safe? Did I save you? Did I do the right thing?"

"We are, and you did," he agrees enthusiastically, cupping Bucky's cold face with his gloved hands and brushing the long strands of hair out of his eyes. He doesn't want to feed into the delusion, but Steve figures this is a part of Bucky now and he'll have to adjust to it. "You did so good, James. You were so brave and you saved us. You're a hero, so don't you doubt that for a second."

Bucky keeps eye contact with him for a seemingly long amount of time, deciding whether to believe Steve or not. There is no lie or malice in Steve's eyes, though, and he eventually returns the soft caress of Steve by cupping the other man's face with his hands as well, making sure to be gentle with his robotic one. He can see the fear in Steve's icy gaze, but it doesn't shame him. Steve isn't scared of him. Steve is scared for him.

The both meet each other in a soft embrace of arms and lips and their love for each other burns so bright it could melt the snow around them. Steve was sweet and yielding and Bucky was needy in their conquest of each other's mouths. It was such the perfect balance of power that they lost themselves in the moment, falling into the snow with Bucky on top of Steve.

Bucky can feel a warmth spread throughout his body when Steve wraps his arms around his waist. Steve chuckles breathlessly into Bucky's mouth when his long hair tickles the sides of his cheekbones. They sink further into the snow as Bucky lays his full weight on Steve, but they hardly notice the cold since their bodies are burning up. They break away from one another, letting the steam of their hot breath mingle in the space between them.

"I trust that to be true," Bucky whispers, leaning down to kiss Steve once more as the snow consumes them both.


End file.
